Balancing Act

So today in class, I think I hit an all time high with stress for me. It was in my computer organization and architecture class, which is one of the hardest classes in my major, and I was sitting there as we were discussing our big project that we got assigned last week. After listening to other students ask questions and talk to the professor about issues they were having with the project, I got very overwhelmed as I realized that I had NO idea what they heck they were talking about. I realized that I didn't prepare well at all, I hadn't read the book like I should've been doing, and that I was in danger of not being able to contribute to my project(we have one partner, thankfully mine is very smart). This is where I need to really trust God with everything going on in my life. We have the Navs key laborers retreat this weekend, and in order for me to be able to go, I had to skip smallgroup tonight, and will probably have to skip large group tomorrow night. I have a test on thursday, and big assignment due on friday, another big assignment due on tuesday(all of this while we should have the majority of our project design finished within a week). 

I don't do well with stress. My solution normally consists of me pushing everything off until the last second, but unfortunately I can't do that with this project(or this quarter). This quarter has been a huge challenge for me. I feel like I haven't had a lot of time for myself. Last quarter it seemed like everyday I would come home from class and just crash for an hour or two, watch some tv, and then maybe start some homework at like 9 or 10. I haven't been able to do that. I can't do that. Now, actually getting work and good studying in has really paid off on my first three midterms, which is great. But I really can't wait till the end of the quarter.

On the other hand, I can wait till the end of the quarter. I don't even know what I'm doing in the spring. I'm supposed to be co-oping, but I haven't had any job interviews yet, and with this economy, I really don't feel confident at the moment. On top of my hardest quarter of my college career, I have that extra stress to deal with. 

Now with all this being said, it's pretty easy to say that my spiritual state hasn't been the greatest. I don't get many moments to myself, and those moments that I do, I am pretty selfish about it, leaving God out of the picture. This isn't something I'm proud of, but I'm just being honest. I don't know what to do. There's just so much to do, in so little time. I hate the fact that I have to skip smallgroup/large group, I really do hate it. I feel like it's my duty as a leader to be at the things going on, because I want to make a difference, but it's just so hard. 

Oh yeah, and another thing I have to cut back on because of school work has been hanging out with my amazing girlfriend. That really sucks. I hate having to say "yeah I can't really see you for the next three days because I have way to much work to do." Spring break can't come soon enough...

I feel like everything is this giant balancing act. I guess that's just life. God, please help me. I need your strength...